OMG. twice in roughly a week?!. I must be feeling very wierd and stuff which indeed i am. She finally told me the news, which actually i kind of guessed it. But dont know why, i kind of reacted more off than i expected it to be. I kind of expected them to be together, but i guess i never learn do i. Deep down inside there is this teeny bit of hope and faith, praying that it might not happen. I guess maybe its cause of this teeny hope that cause it to felt so wierd, confused.

I'm like really happy for her, like serious, but somehow there was mixed feelings. Something else was mixed inside which i cant seem to explain it fully. Maybe it was just cause we were to close? The fear of losing her or drifting apart? or maybe i actualy taken a liking to her but just that i didnt want to admit it all along cause i didnt have the courage to, fearing rejection and losing a friend.

It will never be the same anymore. Although my mouth says something, my hearts thinks otherwise. Obviously i didn't want her to worry, she probably was fearing what i feared too before mustering the courage to tell me today. or perhaps i'm thinking too much again, maybe the thought never crossed her mind. We both hope that things will remain status quo, i mean the 3 of us always have been joking around together and crapping the time away, the only thing that has changed is just the relationship between you and him. She told me to never remove myself from the group and go for the gatherings, but as much as i want and could, there would be a limit i guess. Its not easy being a Chee Yee (i'm sorry for quoting u CY all the best in ur relationship!), I will try to be there the first few times and after that i wll begone. Don't want her to worry too much if i suddenly not go.

Its miraclous how i manage to joke and cheat myself away when she told me the news when i recall back. Even now when i think of it i would laugh. Being labelled a Raymond (sorry to quote too! you ain't bad and very nice don't worry) by myself to quickly skip the sentence so as the run away from reality. Maybe thats what i have been good at, putting up a happy front when terrible news occurs in order not to worry the other party.

Lucky for me, mel was around. THANKS MEL!. although u ain't gonna see it but really thanks for being around. though we never really met, you being around to listen to me was more than enough. i just needed a listening ear at that point of time.

Did quite many crazy things to kill the day and try to forget it but nothing really works until i sleep
lets see: Running; taking a stroll; drinking fruit juice that taste wierd; drinking cafe americano which i never ever tasted (very bitter but nice aroma and taste i must say); and now going to have an ice cold beer. Hopefully after all these and a nights rest i will recover for it, though things are still gonna feel wierd when i see her, and espcially when we 3 meet up.

I seriosuly have no idea how to solve the possible awakardeness we might face for next weeks movie meet up and the hongkong trip. It gonna be a hell load of... something which i cant explain. I really feel like just running away on an overseas trip during this recess week and go missing. Like go malaysia resort and relax away or something.

Guess what! its the 2nd time i faced something similiar like this i guess. But somehow this one was wierder because i am quite close to the guy and will see him often i guess. I can still remember the first time clearly.

對的人 不對的時間 卻放不掉 - (傻笑 - 周杰倫 & 袁詠琳)

practically sums what actually happened. Dont know if i should ask the same question again. Better not to as situations are slightly different now. If i really did i might confused her, or maybe if i do get an outright rejection it might have felt so much better and easier. But nope, doubt i will ask to confuse her now since she is the one attached and not me.

I must say if you even get you hands on this, which is unlikely as you arent as stalker-ish as me, or even to the level or hacking to find out truth. Its only been less than a year that we meet, but it really has been an awesome one. Its so amazing how we got to know each other and how things roll off from there. Hopefully and really hopefully, this friendship will last forever, or maybe daddy-ship since i am really just that now.

Time to try the new TIGER RADLER BEER! and rush up my report else i wouldn't have time the next few days. Hopefully i can drown myself in work and be as busy as possible to forget it, though things will always remind me about it constantly.

Ciao~


TianFong

或许我们早一点认识结局就会不一样