xiao tian tian =)

11:03 PM

Tuesday, December 21, 2010

day 1 without you as my darling.. ): (21.12.10)

i dunnno why..

but suddenly i decided this would be the best

i guess this is wat u had in mind as well

jus tt none of us initiated it..

hence it drags on and on...

hope ur life from onwards will be better

less stressful and more happy

i guess this will be the last favour i can do for u

let u go..

i just hope he will treat u better..

i had trust in him..

but after thinking a while..

i doubt slightly..

hope its nth much..

to be frank with u..

i did stalk u a while sometimes..

i knew wat u and him did..

to wat stage u all have reached..

i jus choose to keep quiet..

believing that it was him who wants it

and u being ur sui bian character

jus did it...

i though tt with him going overseas now

i would have the chance

of making u fall in love with me again

re-live everything we had..

but when i knew he does contact u overseas..

i knew it was all over..

there was no hope anymore.

i guess all my believing was so naive..

u remember the day i laughed to myself?

i was laughing at how naive my thinking was

how crazy i was to believe even the most absurb stuff

i keep teling myself...

whatever u wanna hide from me

its for my own good..

but all these would be a past..

i hope u will lead a better life without me..

oh ya..

and im sorry for doing spot check on u..

towards the last month we are tgt..

say it tt i dun trust u bah..

though u always say the truth

but there is always more to it..

u say u talking to ur sis..

with ur character.

u wun talk more than 5 min with her..

yet u on call for 30min..

den when i called u at 10+ min

u say u still calling her..

maybe this never happen and i jus assume bah..

i believe things start to crumble during the last month

when the trust starts crumbling..

when the crack starts becoming biggger..

im just curiious about a few stuff.

like when did u fall in love with him

since he gave u xiao jie?

or when he said i love u in the flowers?

during exam week?

or when u found out i contacted him?

i guess i will never know..

im sorry for many things zhi...

i dunno how to put it..

i think i qian u a lot..

u've did a lot for me..

when im in army..

u missed me like mad..

without u.

i guess i dun be a 3sg so sucessfully.

i wun have the motivation to move on

to push thru all ordeals and get my rank..

i wanted u to go see my parade..

to let u see

what ive become thru ur support and stuff..

but i guess by dec 17

i wasn't the most important person to u anymore

i dun blame u

im jus disappointed in myself

im sorry for all sorrow and sad-ness

sorry for making u cry..

and thanks

thanks for everything

all the happy memories..

happy moment

the gifts..

i wun forget themm

i will keep them preciously

frame them maybe?

hahahh

my only regrets.. was..

to not preventing this from happening

not preventing history which u hate so much

from happening again and again..

making u go thru all these again.

i guess when u love someone so much..

u must know when to let her go bah

if u really love her.

let her go..

well lets see..

day 1.

i think im a pathetic little fool..

i still keep thinking about u

whether u are ok..

im scared u cry..

scared u sad... emos..

scared u do smth wrong..

but i gues u wun bah.

u are strong enuf to withstand this..

i tried slping to pass time

but i jus cant fall aslp..

everytime i lie down..

water jus keeps coming down..

end up woke up and went running

the run was fun though..

refreshing i would say..

after tt at nite was show and play game.

and starting my blog!!

i think both of us are amazing.

we manage to become 2 entities.

without even mentioning the 2 words B**** U*

these 2 words nv came out of either one of our mouth..

hahah..

we quiet pro sia. =D

i dunno how long we can last at fren..

my original plan was to let u be alone

keep a distance..

it would be easier for u..

but i guess i cant..

i dunno when i will live on without you..

when i can get over u..

dunno when my love for u will fade..

who knows.

maybe i will be a single for life le..

haha..

jus hope it wun die off soon..

maybe after ORD still can hang out .. (:

well.. imma go slp...

at least we called and chatted a while (:

nitess.