xiao tian tian =)

9:16 PM

Thursday, December 30, 2010

Day 10 without you as my darling.. (30.12.10)

ThursdAY!

omG...

its jus another 4 days like tt

and im back in camp..

it might also be the last day i can see u for a month

i dun think u have lots of time to meet me also

with uni kicking in

and other commitments u need to handle

i wun expect much actually

anything else is a bonus..

im jus glad im able to meet u today..

and shopping in msia!!

wooo!!

after learning the happy effects of shopping..

and spending money..

im like addicted to shopping and spending money sia

swipe card i happy le..

no wonder shopping can be a vice..

hehe

first time shopping in msia with zhi zhi

but i doubt its the first for zhi zhi with another guy in msia bah

hahaha

after all you have so many suitors...

at first i was kind of start in the start of the day de

yesterday we were like so happily chatting about

how we are going out today to shop in msia

i left house early to get u some flowers..

and saw 4 leaves cake.. so i got it too

end up recieve ur sms

tt u wanna do ur bidding.. and not feeling well..

i tot we wun meet le..

but even if we dont meet..

im going msia.. shop alone i guess

maybe cab over to ur hosue put stuff and zao

tts wat i was thinking lar.

after all things buy le..

dun give also go to waste ma.. hehe

so either way im going msia..

so i jus left on my own without even knowing whether i can meet u lo..

actually

i reached quiet early le..

despite the crazy jam on causway and the amt of ppl at msia custom..

i tot we would meet at 12.. so i tried to be early..

but due to the jam i reach at 12.15 bah..

but u said 1pm meet instead..

so i dun wanna stress u..

i reach le yet tell u i haven..

tell u i stll waiting bus.. hehe..

end up 1pm u still not here..

u say u no car go over..

i was like.. orh ok..

so i shall cab over..

put stuff and zao le..

guess we arent meant to see today bah.

but suddenly sms come sia.

''u cab over to pick me up lo''

smth like tt.. i like.. hmm (:(:

im really really happy tt despite all the other factors

u actually draw time out to company me...

im really touched to be frank..

even though i got scamed by tt blooddy taxi driver.

but at least he got me to the place i need

hahah

worth the scam to be frank..

we went shoppinggg!!

woooooooo

fun sia.. shoping with zhi zhi

im quite happy u very sporty today sia

keep trying on stuff i think its nice or new

haha

espcially tt rosey dress..

i tot u wil never try it on..

and try on checkered shirts..

after see-ing u wear tt yesterday..

i think u look good in it sia.. u should get more of those..

the rose dress.. look average i would say

its lacking smth tt i dunno how to say though..

i finally managed to find my plain long sleeve!!

wooooo

after soooo long

now all thats left is some short tee..

and 2 pants.. preferbally a black and grey bah

and my cny shopping is done

urs issnt quiet done bah

still got looooooooooong way

dunno if u got time to shop ma..

hopefully have lo.. (:

we had a light dinner after shopping...

secret recipe cheesecake!!

hhahahaha..

nice sia.. cept the caramel de.. xD

bad intro by me..

paiseh paiseh..

after tt u need to go home eat ur dinner le..

i companied u and we talked while waiting for ur parents..

i was thinking in my mind..

it might be another year or 2..

before this can have a chance of happening again..

shopping with u in msia..

wat are the possibilities man..

this meeting

i guess will be the final one quiet sometimes..

i was kind of yi yi bu she in the end when u left..

i kept looking at u as u leave..

thinking bout many things..

today i got to learn about many things though.

though a bit.. but i force myself not to think..

so end up nth much negetive came out of it lo..

went home quiet early..

and used my bro netbok again.

i dunno how to explain to my sis about the netbook sia

hope she dun flare up though...

well..

its been a long day..

i manage to see ur house for the last time

though never entered which i wanted to

but after learning the reason

i guess its better tt i dont..

saw ur mum though she didnt recognise me

guess shes doing fine.. (:

well..

off to slp le..

night nights..

sweet dreams..

10:28 PM

Wednesday, December 29, 2010

Day 9 without you as my darling.. (29.12.10)

It wednesday!!

left a few more days and im back in camp ):

today was a superrrrr fun day!!

i super super enjoyed it!..

haha.

so many fresh things.. (:

too bad my netbook is spoiled..

so using my bro de..

his netbook look very nice sia

i shall take super good care of it..

cant afford to spoil another one le...

hopefully it can last me for 1 year plus..

till i ord and get my uni laptop (:

today very funn!

went out with zhi zhi to swim sia

first time i went swimming with u..

see u wear swim suit sia

weew weet.

too long nv swim le

cant believe i used to swim last time

now cannot even swim much

swim a bit leg will a bit odd odd

wonder if its vball hai de..

well..

shall go swimming more often..

train up train up!..

maybe it will help my leg a bit lo..

and its kind of cool to swim with a female

teehee..

hope can get to swim with u often (:

after the swim.. i companied u to woodlands..

met up with beat ^^ and si min -.-

haha can see u really dun like her =x

well..

travelled to dg.. den we parted ways..

i went to meet up with joash
suppose to meet up with zhenren and sylvia de

she finally back from korean sia..

tot can chat with her see hows her life now with her new bf

but..

end up.. girls are girls after all..

late!

omg...

den they went to movie directly..

i wanted to find and company u..

plus wasnt really interested in the movie..

so i decided to skip it..

end up met her like 1 min plus and left le..

tried finding clothing in vivo..

but nth seems to suit my kou wei..

and all so not worth it sia....

took the mrt back to dg and manage to find playnation..

walked in and snuck behind u.!

haha..

saw ur shocked face..

so cutee xD

stood there saw u play wii

so lol sia the games u all play..

well.. quiet funny to see u all play though..

after tt we left early and went for dinner

had our fave mudpie =)

i wanted to do smth special for u

but i nv went to train in it..

so went to try try luck..

enter prize stage... toss in a few coins..

end up nv get any soft toy for u ):

tot can grab one and give u..

it will be sooooooo nice.. haha..

after tt we went back le..

well

gave u a surprise!!

hope u liked it..

since i took leave and can leave the nation

so i decided

since u did say before that u wanted the feeling of crossing custom

as a couple..

and im also quiet curious how it feels like to cross as a couple..

so i brought my passport the whole day!

i was quiet worried tt i might lose it though.. keep checking my bag..

hahahah..

guess u didnt though tt was coming.. =D

hope u enjoyed the trip home..

i really enjoyed the whole day

though it took some time home..

but thinking back on the day..

it was really a superrr nice one.

it might be the last one sad to say ):

i dunno when i will meet u again..

or whether we might still be in good contact..

with ur uni starting..

things will change definitely..

my gut feeling towards the negetive side hasnt been wrong yet..

sooo... yup..

i guess i shall be mentally prepared..

for smth tt was suppose to happen long ago..

well..

off to slp!.

thanks for the wonderful day zhizhi!.

hope u liked the whole day too (:

nights!

6:33 PM

Tuesday, December 28, 2010

Day 8 without you as my darling.. (28.12.10)

welll..

its been a week since we become 2 individuals..

there so much i wanna say..

yet im afraid u read le will affect u..

shall leave it to at night den continue..

such stuff..

at the end of the day still nid to say out.

the longer it drags..

the worse it becomes i suppose..

though it wasnt an easy decision and..

it really wasnt wat i wan..

but some stuff..

u really cant force onto others..

u jus have to be the one sacrificing..

so that everyone will be better off..

guess our fates arent as intertwined as i though it would be..

guess i wasnt good enuf bah...

well..

ji mo ji mo jiu hao.. ):

tata~..

sayonara~..

slp time!

10:07 PM

Monday, December 27, 2010

Day 7 without you as my darling.. (27.12.10)

today morning woke up early..

went back to pj to play ball!!

woo

1 week plus no play le..

play le quiet shoik..

but everytime go back pj

very odd odd de sia

like got some aura..

go there cannot play properly de..

play le like very funny funny..

not only i feel this way..

others also.. haha

maybe the place too zzz le.. xD

after ball game i went lunch with chee they all

at first didnt want to stay for girls training.. cos its like 3pm

but they suddenly push forward

went for lunch..

den decided to go back..

since go home also rot nth to do.

end up i should have went home instead..

so dam siannnnnnnnnnnn

wasted my time..

regreted slightly staying..

haha

reached home..

and i fell aslp in front of my laptop!..

ahhh..

took a snooze..

den had dinner..

yum yum

white raddish soup..

steam egg and fish!

wooooooooo

after dinner had to wash up my many many socks..

took quiet long though..

went to bath after tt.. and starting slacking

watched anime and shows..

rotted the night away.. haha

but i did catch smth interesting.

the korean ice skater..

yuna kim~.

she dam imba sia....

no wonder always get gold/1st..

too qiang le.. unstoppable..

read ur blog..

im quiet happy u do update quiet often.

at least there is smth to read about..

i tot u wun bother about the blog le (:

well..

i decided tt maybe we shall not meet le..

cos i see u like beg ur father jus to go out.

i nv knew last time was like tt

before i enlisted.

i tot u can come out without much hassle.

unless it everyday keep going out then u will get scolded..

other than tt if alternate days..

u would not have much trouble..

after see-ing u have to beg to come out eveytime

i guess i wun bother u with coming out speically jus to meet me

i mean..

i dunno how to say this..

deep inside me..

i dun wanna bring u too much trouble..

ive already brought enuf misery to u..

and i feel

im really nth to u..

no longer your bf ..

so there issnt really a need for me to meet u anymore..

i believe there is someone else that need to meet u more than me (:

maybe our next meeting will be at 29 jan le.

i dun even know if im going.

hopefully i can make it though..

well

u still talkin on the phone discussing about ur mod..

hopefully can get it settle.

or tml still need to worry again.. (:

im off to slp le..

dun think i will wait..

end up wun talk to u also..

hehes..

nite nite ^^

11:18 PM

Sunday, December 26, 2010

Day 6 without you as my darling.. (26.12.10)

sunday!..

omg..

1 weeek is over..

i jus have another one more week out...

awww ):

jus when im getting used to civi life..

hhahaha.

so this is what life is like when i ord..

cant wait.!!

well..

its jus one more week out..

one more week to company u i guess..

after this weekk.

i wun have as much time anymore..

my weekend will nv be stable..

with ur studies coming in..

i guess it would be hard to meet up le..

jus hope u will stay happy

and live on cheerfully.. (:

sorry i cant company u much le...

jus hope the next week..

we can spend some time tgt..

it would be more than enuf...

sunday was really bored sia..

rotted totally at home..

actually having ord life

got good got bad..

if everyday got stuff do still ok

nth to do is the worse..

rot at home.

but i guess its better than nth..

hhaahhhah..

after finish watching my anime..

really nth to do le..

i feel super lethargic today..

nua like siao..

keep taking naps..

after breakfast... watch show..

slp...

go out get lunch... eat..

watch show..

slp..

OMG..

so pigg!!!!!!!

lucky i do sweat a bit every few days..

else sure get fat.. hahaha....

was bored today..

so i sort of re-read ur blog..

all ur old old post and stuff..

bring back memories..

i still owe u a fish from the pjc drain. (:

i see next time i free den go catch k.. ^^

hahha...

i think i do owe u quiet some stuff..

need some time to think about it ..

to rememebr wat i owe u.. (:

cannot keep making empty promises..

haha..

today the show..

xiao hai, gou..

so so only sia..

think the previous weeks will be better..

but the song quiet nice..

keep ringing in my head.

at first i tot some duno who de sg female singer..

den when i go youtube later..

wahh..

hebe tian leh

oh my tian..

is she sing de ar..

i think i going to dl and put in mp3 le..

so nice and catchy..

ji mo ji mo jiu hao!

LOL..

though kind of emos..

but not bad lar... (:

tml going to play vball back at pj..

hope it will be fun..

1 week plus nv touch ball le.

think will become noob noob le.. (:

imma go slp le...

u still finding ur stuff..

hope u find it soon..

*yawns*..

rest early k..

nights..

8:33 PM

Saturday, December 25, 2010

Day 5 without you as my darling.. (25.12.10)

Merry Christmas Zhi Zhi~

u bbq-ing now.. haha..

hope u enjoy bbq-ing!..

i very long nv bbq also le

wonder when wil be the next time

i will bbq again

hahaha..

this morning woke up early..

even though i drank a bit yesterday..

woke up tt time no prob.. feeeling ok

went to yew tee..

meet with weijie yi guang yousheng they all

play bball..

i think i suck at it =x..

haha..

after playing..

i think i going to die le

head spinning like siao

very giddy..

think its the alcohol..

or the lack of slp ..

or maybe both... hehe.

had mac lunch with themm

den took lrt to find clarence again..

left my hp charger at his house last nite

forget to take it home..

end up guess wat i saw

chee and another fren still there..

they went to ate lunch

went back to game again.. hahaha

i joined in. =x..

played from 2+ till 6..

anw it rained. so dun really felt like going home

so hard without shelter.

i ended taking a snooze at clar house

cos really feeling a bit drowsy..

as usuall

his 2 dogs very cutee..

haha..

espicialy the male de..

keep disturbing me

his wet wet nose keep touching me..

so eeeee.. LOL

after tt..

went to bpp to da bao dinner..

ate some sushi and a baked rice..

kind of cool sia..

nowadays can da bao baked rice de..

dinner was shoik..

after dinner..

bathed

AHHHHH

i nv bathe since friday noon..

friday reach home jus slpt.

teeheee..

den went looking for smth to do

found a new anime

short short de..

some romance comedy..

ichigo 100%..

not bad i would say

but it really depends on taste bah..

watched it till like 11+

wanted to call u de.

but u were chatting with someone else..

so...

i guess i wun have my turn today.. (:

hope can call u tml...

im off to slp le..

rest well. ^^

11:11 AM

Friday, December 24, 2010

Day 4 without you as my darling.. (24.12.10)

It's christmas eve!

yay.. party time!..

wonder what will u be doing this christmas eve..

we never did spend christmas with each other..

not only christmas..

but all other festivals too..

CNY and stuff..

hahah..

wonder what will it be like to spend it with you.

hmmmm...

today left house at 12+ met ghimmy for lunch..

he is sooooooo late..

den we went to clar hse to party..

party party till 12+

nth much to write about it

cept chatting up..

gaming and stuff

haha..

i was sort of the bartender..

we drank a bit..

12 ppl clear 1 bottle vodka + 6 can beer

nth much i would say

but the funny thing is so many of them

drink le

all got red red red face..

like babooon ass..

teeeheee.. =D

kind of sad..

nv called u to wish u merry xmas..

wanted to do so..

but i guess u fell aslp le..

11.30++ no reply le..

sorry tt u had to have a lonely christmas again

last year also the same..

reach home about 1.. bathed and read ur bloggie..

haha..

quiet funny sia

what u did last time now happening to u..

im kind of curious though..

what u mean by...

giving the answer that i wanted..

i dun even know wats the answer i wan u to say to him

haha..

so what issit??

well..

dun bother u with it bah..

if u wan to..

i guess u will tell me sooner or later de..

haha..

i think im gonna slpp le..

nite niets..

merry xmas..

its 1+ le.. so latee.

tml still need wake up at early to meet yousheng they all

hope can wake up..

nights..

sweet dreams..

10:53 PM

Thursday, December 23, 2010

Day 3 without you as my darling.. (23.12.10)

today i woke up late..

ahhhhh...

i actaully overslept..

usually i will like auto come out once at 6..

den fall back to slp till 7+ 8..

today i totally like coma..

slp till 9+..

woke up i still tot it was 7 plus..

looking at the sun.. it wasnt very bright..

haha....

i still wanted to continue to slp de..

until i check my phone!..

3 sms..

all u send de..

OMG..

i really coma sia...

ahahha..

faster wake up le.. brush teeth

prepare to do stuff..

yesterday did altering

and adjusting..

and modifying of ur bracelet.

so tt its cfm wun drop tt kind...

spend like 15min.

hope ltr when i give u.

it wun look odd..

and wun be the same one.. hahah.

end up we both rememeber wrong meeting timing..

i rmbed 12.. u rmbed 11..

so i sort of faster do my stuff..

prepare the stuff i need..

den left the house le..

luckily i was early..

didn't make u wait..

tot i wil be late...

to be frank..

i tot this meeting will be very...

very..

awkward..

cos we will be keeping a distance and such..

i really dunno how it will turn out at first..

i kind of guess u might be meeting him..

so i already had a backup plan..

teehee..

when u first came down of the bus.

other than hi..

i really duno wat to say sia....

but after u sat beside me..

the barrier sort of broke..

we spoke normally..

and had lots of laughter..

its been long since we had such..

joyful chatter i suppose..

so nostalgic..

after tt we board a bus to bugis..

the bus super hot sia..

i keep sweating..

den the sun + aircon..

i felt a bit..

like sick le.

hope i dont fall sick..

on the bus..

i was kind of shocked..

in a nice way..

u still lean on my shoulder..

cross our arms..

it really was nice..

i hope this wun end..

and we can still go out often..

i dunno if we can meet up next time to be frank

i think my unit..

i will have a lot of standbys..

so maybe i dun have much weekend out..

plus ur uni starting again.

we wun have time to go out jus walk without any motive

anymore..

i shall cherish watever time we have left (:

went bugis..

ate a few deserst + some light snacks..

walk bugis street..

ahhhh waste of time..

so crowded..

brought u to the wrong place.. hehe

so we ended up going to town..

i wanted to get the long sleeve..

we took mrt over.

and u shocked me once again =D

the train was squeezy..

so we were actually very close to each other..

head like almost touch head le..

i kind of avoid looking at you..

cos i dun wanna be tempted..

i tot we should remain a distance..

there was once i was in eye contact with you..

but nth happen..

i said..

smth like you cant..

den moment later..

u turn back.

*muacks*..

''why not??"

**stunned face**

i jitao..

stun for a moment...

haha..

the feeling was really nice..

i tot i will nv get such stuff again le..

that really made my day a lot a lot. (:

we reach somerset..

and walked walked arond..

looking for smth to cover u with

the hide ur

HOT PINK!

hahahahaha..

went in f21 den came out..

queue to fitting room too long..

so we decided to go taka and find my shirt first..

end up disappointment..

they never sell le.

.omg...

one day difference..

they change the shop layout.. dun ahve le..

sad..

now i got to find new place to get my long sleeve...

hope next week got time go shopping again. (:

we went back to f21..

and u decided to try smth crazy.

.jus grab.. pay and go!

woooo

the feeling a bit funny sia..

but i really pei fu u

ur yang guang really very good

end up the shirt fit well..

and it looked nice on u..

hehe..

and it also manage to cover ur hot pink..

ahahahahhahaha

pros pros! *claps claps*

so fun sia..

should do more of this kind of sttuff..

heheh...

we went to OC after tt.. since he was going to reach le.

walked for a few minutes..

and he picked u up ^^

after tt my phone dunn why sot sot..

no connection..

so i off-ed and on it..

den still cui for a while.

den after 5 min like tt ok le.

went to take 190 to cck and meet clar.

bloody hell.

im 1 hour early..

so i end up loitering around lot 1..

doing nth.

haizz..

heng he was a bit early.

so didnt had to wait so long..

after we met..

had dinner and bought the stuff needed for tml

hope tml party will be a good one..

went home after wards..

reach home...

bathed...

and texted u.. (:

u raech home quiet late though..

tot could call u again tonite..

but i guess u are busy with ur uni stuff.

and u on call..

so i decided to not disturb u bah

wait for a while..

play some lame game..

12 30++ le

think better not call u bah

call le end up u slp later..

better let u rest..

eyes cannot take it le..

im gonna go orh orh liaoz..

hope u rest early..

nights nights zhi~..

sweet dreams !!

11:55 PM

Wednesday, December 22, 2010

Day 2 without you as my darling.. (22.12.10)

hihi!

its day 2..

after a sleep..

things felt much better..

though waking up always have some blues..

but after a while will ok le bah (:

today going out for shopping!

woo!

morning got tang yuan eat.!

today is dong zhi. =d

yum yum~..

after tt went out to cwp walk walk

met up with kunny for a while since he going out too

haha..

he went to exchange his comic..

cos he buy le..

end up his bro have also..

so xchange for a new series..

end up he ordered a new set again

OMG..

hes so rich!!.

think he spend $300 ++ on comics le.

after tt..

i went to get a replacment..

for ur bracelet...

hope i didnt get the same one

it look like it..

but somehow it looked different

there was another nice one..

but the chain shitty.. and cannot change

so sad... ):

after getting the replacment

took mrt to somerset..

wee..

hanging out with bunkmate!

wat wonderful guys..

we walked nearly the whole orchard..

i ended up buying a jean at flesh imp

now got its membership le. haha

i kan zhong 1 pants and long sleeve t-shirt

but end up the other 2 guys decided to buy.

so i dun wanna buy..

else buy same thing a bit odd..

not really shopping spree

but it was fun!!

teehee..

now i finally know why ppl love to spend le

spending money is soooooo shiok!

ahahahah

next time i earn moeny..

i see i like i goign buy le.

dun wait.

spend while u can. hehe

after shopping..

went to watch tron..

hmm

interesting movie..

quiet nice..

though the story a bit chim chim

cos a lot of chim terms..

but very cool sia the movie

the gadget all dam stylo. haha

i wish i can get tt cool motorbike..

after movie..

wanted to find a place to chill out de

end up cannot find anyplace

wondered around orchard road for an hour plus

den went home..

the night scene at orchard dam nice sia

very happening also

cos of chirstmas..

got a lot of bands performing..

got a lot of lighting.

wanted to go up OC to see see..

but we too late le.

kanna barred down..

hahahah sad..

next time.!

welll

day 2 wasnt tt bad

i guess its cos i had things to do

compared to day 1 spending the whole day at home..

maybe doing things can make me fen shen bah..

hes back today le..

and texted me..

talk for a while..

den i forget reply him..

ahahahha

forgetful me.. ):

at least we still texted each other the whole day..

i tot tt when the thing happened..

there will be a big gap between us le..

there will be a distance between us..

isnt how it always is in show..??

but no!!

hahaha..

im happy its not like in the shows..

at least we still talk..

still crap with each other..

still lame with each other..

still can call each other and text each other..

haha..

im happy tt things arent tt bad..

that we can still carry on as very very best frens..

hope this wun die off. (:

gonna meet u tml..

wonder how it will be??

well.

imma go slp..

its late le.!!

nites nites.. ^^

11:03 PM

Tuesday, December 21, 2010

day 1 without you as my darling.. ): (21.12.10)

i dunnno why..

but suddenly i decided this would be the best

i guess this is wat u had in mind as well

jus tt none of us initiated it..

hence it drags on and on...

hope ur life from onwards will be better

less stressful and more happy

i guess this will be the last favour i can do for u

let u go..

i just hope he will treat u better..

i had trust in him..

but after thinking a while..

i doubt slightly..

hope its nth much..

to be frank with u..

i did stalk u a while sometimes..

i knew wat u and him did..

to wat stage u all have reached..

i jus choose to keep quiet..

believing that it was him who wants it

and u being ur sui bian character

jus did it...

i though tt with him going overseas now

i would have the chance

of making u fall in love with me again

re-live everything we had..

but when i knew he does contact u overseas..

i knew it was all over..

there was no hope anymore.

i guess all my believing was so naive..

u remember the day i laughed to myself?

i was laughing at how naive my thinking was

how crazy i was to believe even the most absurb stuff

i keep teling myself...

whatever u wanna hide from me

its for my own good..

but all these would be a past..

i hope u will lead a better life without me..

oh ya..

and im sorry for doing spot check on u..

towards the last month we are tgt..

say it tt i dun trust u bah..

though u always say the truth

but there is always more to it..

u say u talking to ur sis..

with ur character.

u wun talk more than 5 min with her..

yet u on call for 30min..

den when i called u at 10+ min

u say u still calling her..

maybe this never happen and i jus assume bah..

i believe things start to crumble during the last month

when the trust starts crumbling..

when the crack starts becoming biggger..

im just curiious about a few stuff.

like when did u fall in love with him

since he gave u xiao jie?

or when he said i love u in the flowers?

during exam week?

or when u found out i contacted him?

i guess i will never know..

im sorry for many things zhi...

i dunno how to put it..

i think i qian u a lot..

u've did a lot for me..

when im in army..

u missed me like mad..

without u.

i guess i dun be a 3sg so sucessfully.

i wun have the motivation to move on

to push thru all ordeals and get my rank..

i wanted u to go see my parade..

to let u see

what ive become thru ur support and stuff..

but i guess by dec 17

i wasn't the most important person to u anymore

i dun blame u

im jus disappointed in myself

im sorry for all sorrow and sad-ness

sorry for making u cry..

and thanks

thanks for everything

all the happy memories..

happy moment

the gifts..

i wun forget themm

i will keep them preciously

frame them maybe?

hahahh

my only regrets.. was..

to not preventing this from happening

not preventing history which u hate so much

from happening again and again..

making u go thru all these again.

i guess when u love someone so much..

u must know when to let her go bah

if u really love her.

let her go..

well lets see..

day 1.

i think im a pathetic little fool..

i still keep thinking about u

whether u are ok..

im scared u cry..

scared u sad... emos..

scared u do smth wrong..

but i gues u wun bah.

u are strong enuf to withstand this..

i tried slping to pass time

but i jus cant fall aslp..

everytime i lie down..

water jus keeps coming down..

end up woke up and went running

the run was fun though..

refreshing i would say..

after tt at nite was show and play game.

and starting my blog!!

i think both of us are amazing.

we manage to become 2 entities.

without even mentioning the 2 words B**** U*

these 2 words nv came out of either one of our mouth..

hahah..

we quiet pro sia. =D

i dunno how long we can last at fren..

my original plan was to let u be alone

keep a distance..

it would be easier for u..

but i guess i cant..

i dunno when i will live on without you..

when i can get over u..

dunno when my love for u will fade..

who knows.

maybe i will be a single for life le..

haha..

jus hope it wun die off soon..

maybe after ORD still can hang out .. (:

well.. imma go slp...

at least we called and chatted a while (:

nitess.

9:32 PM

Sunday, December 19, 2010

darling..

this week is monday book in. (:

yay..

can spend another night chatting with u

till we slp.. =D

cant wait for next week

whole week break..

can spend more time with darling..

i must make u the world's happiest women (:

at first i tot today can see u..

cos friday u nv go parade.

so maybe sunday can come out..

but i see u yesterday go party til so late

i guess not le bah.

ur dad will nag also.

better not.. dun wan u get an earful cause of me

next week still got a lot of chance

hope can go out often

i miss those days in jc

where we go out almost everyday..

so nostalgic when i think of it..

the day of school..

no worries or nth.. (:

today i did nth much though..

went walking around at bpp

haha..

went to look for a new bracelet. xD

some better quality de bah..

else keep missing

i see u so sad.

whole day watch anime and fb only

played bubble island..

quiet interesting ^^

den watched finish my zero no tsukaima..

watch bleach till latest..

wah...

exciting sia!

den fb got new updates..

class outing on my bday!..

i wonder if u purposely put it on tt day de lo..

haha..

hope there will be some surprise..

chirstmas is coming!..

i should have changed my leave dates..

so i can spend some time before chirstmas with u

and not all after chirstmas.

well..

too late to change le i guess..

have to change my plans..!

wonder if i will get anything this year..

its been long since i got anything from darling..

i dun blame u though

u've been busy with studies..

plus u at home always get bossed aroudn by ur sis

do this do tt..

guess u wun have much time bah

the greatest gift would be spending time with u..

this week never really spend much time with u..

even since few weeks ago

things a bit wierd wierd le..

i think for like 1 month plus..

we never really went out to play

for 1 whole day le..

we only met for like

maybe 4-5 hours each week..

at neighbourhood areas..

i wanted to bring u go flyer soon de

but today u told me

wed u going with jie han..

i a bit sian diao bah..

well.. wat to do..

my darling too chio le..

everyone wanna jio out for a date..

haha..

well..

i broke the question out again tdy

im sorry dear

sorry tt i doubted u

but im really confused..

i guess u are too..

after see-ing tt he actually sent u flowers..

with message of

''sa rang hei yo''

my heart literally lost everything..

it sort of stand still for a moment..

i didnt want to think tt way..

i always thought u and him..

were very good fren..

to the point of like and infactuation..

but with the way things are happening.

i can stop to think tt u might have fallen for him

and him for u as well.

tts why i broke the question again..

if things were really true..

im really ready.

sat morning i read a msg u sent wrongly..

it really struck me for a moment..

but i didnt wanna question

cos i was going to meet u tt day..

and u going to party..

didnt want to affect ur mood..

its been.. ages..

far too long to rmb..

the last good night msg u send me

u used to text me jus b4 u go to slp..

even though u said good nite at like 10pm

if u slp at 12am.

u will still send another sms saying good nite again..

but now u send it to him.

it raelly mean a lot to me..

its like when i fall aslp first

u dun even bother sending me an sms

to say u going slp le..

but instead u send to another guy..

it really means otherwise le.. ):

he would be back tdy..

and i guess with him back..

it would be hard to change things..

i really admire him

being sooo rich

to be able to call u for mins..

adding up to hours..

when overseas..

maybe tts something i lose at bah..

i lose to him at many things i guess..

i cant help to think im inferior than him..

i guess ive lost my self-confidence i used to have..

tt i was ''great'' and unique..

i wanna tell u..

i never blamed u for anything tt has happen

but instead i wanna thank you.

for all the memories and happy moments..

what ever may happen in the future

nobody knows..

there are just too many possibilities..

i asked u if u stayed with me

was cause u scared i sad..

and go thru wat u felt..

or u liked me..

to be frank...

im really grateful to u

when u said u wanted to salvage this relationship

i really tot u had no feelings at all...

but i wonder if these feeling are love

or empathy and sympathy..

i hope they are love.

i dun wan u to stand by me

just cos u promised to..

i dun wan an empty shell to be frank..

i rather see u being happy from afar..

i dun wan u to suffer..

being sandwiched between the both of us.

i wan u lead a carefree life

with less trouble to worry.

u know..

ive longed and missed for the feeling of being kissed..

cuddling each other..

hugging each other..

saying i love you to each other everyday..

lying on each other's shoulder..

taking couple photos everywhere we go..

doing things together..

spending every moment with each others..

i dunno when i will get them again..

maybe many years later..

maybe never..

darling..

remember to blog k..

i every week come bak wil check de..

what ever the future may hold

my love for u..

im sure of it..

will last for these 2 years at least..

my love for u will never change..

as the song goes..

nothings gonna change my love for u..

i love you dear.!..

see u next week..

MUACKS!

aishiteru~

11:57 PM

Saturday, December 18, 2010

dear!!

its been a long long week

so tired sia this whole week

rehersal almsost everyday

super shack..

jus to make it sui sui for parade

lets see...

hmm on monday...

3km run + some lectures.

tuesday...

3kmrun + lectureres again + rehersal

wednesday..

rehersal

thrusday..

rehersal..

friday

PARADE!

hahahahah

tts all for my week lar

wednesday onward super shoing

very tiring...

every night after i call u..

i auto KO le..

hahah.. only got 1 or 2 days

i somehow cannot fall aslp ):

been thinking a lot as usual..

yet i've nv came to any conclusion..

im very clear wat i wan..

but i know the chances of me getting it...

isnt very high either..

dear u know..

when i heard he was going overseas..

i was planning on smth..

i was kind of happy at first tt hes going overseas

it means that i may still stand a chance..

that things may change...

i squeeze all my brain juice out..

trying to think of ways to make u as happy as possible

think of how to make u re-live the feeling we had

the wonderful days we had..

i tot u will come for my parade..

and when i think back of BMT parade.

i rmb u made a card for me.

so i decided to write a letter to u..

that time u came for my parade and gave me the card

i was really super happy and touched..

that u actuall spend time to prepare such stuff

u spend so much effort and alwasy support me

so this time i wanted to thank you for everything..

but i nv expected that end up

u couldnt make it for the parade..

i was really kind of disappointed on tt day..

if it wasnt for ghim pulling me around to take photos..

i guess i would have felt super down

see-ing everyone's gf coming down..

all of their happy faces and taking photos with their lover..

for a moment i really felt...

lost u can say..

lost....

lucky i went cam whoring..

saw a few old friends and weihong they all too (:

after i reached home..

bathed..

the first thing i wanted to do was to call u and talk..

i forget wat it was..

but u were busy..

watching ur show i guess..

so being the usual me..

i didn't wan to disturb u bah so didnt really talk

wanted to do the chirstmas gift for u

end up slping at a very odd position...

woke up like an hour later and climb up my bed

and fell aslp till morning..

the next morning i woke up..

saw my hp got 4 smses..

quiet happy at first..

but wat came afterward was quiet saddening

one of the sms wasnt directed at me..

though it was jus a simple message..

but i guess it really shows a lot.

its really telling me a lot bah..

well..

after tt waking up at 7..

starting to chiong the card..

lucky i did some in camp during the week

so can save some time..

research on how to cut snowflakes..

den starting preparing and writing the ''card''

found a suitable bag for u to use..

den left house to meet u le..

rushed to cwp to get the bracelet..

den met u at old woodlands..

haha..

was kind of late by a few mins..

and made u wait for me again.. sorry. ):

when i passed u the gift..

i thought u will be elated..

u will be like surprised or smth..

cos i nv really made gifts for u.

not even speaking about hand-made stuff..

but u took the gift..

see see a bit..

and den carry it le...

i was kind of sad for a moment..

but things sort of took for the better..

when eating kfc..

u ask me help u put on the bracelet. (:

dunno what it may mean..

but it did cheer up my day...

after tt send u to cwp and off u go partying. !

den i went walking around..

and played ball at night..

at night after my game..

i knew u will take quiet a long time before u really left

so i rushed over to marsling in hopes to maybe pick u

if u really took ur time

but when i reach and called..

u were at custom le..

guess if i left slightly earlier..

i might still have a chance..

so i went home from marsling..

ended up reaching home ltr than u.

haha..

tts rare..

when i reached home..

i went ''stalking'' for a while..

check if u updated anything

and if anything was new on fb..

though u updated long ago..

but only till now den i saw it..

the 3 sunflower tt he gave u

with the card on top + the korean words.

though its kind of obvious wat those korean means

but i jus didnt want to believe it..

so i went to check it out from the black book u gave me

ended up was wat i expected it to be..

haha..

and since i took out the black book..

i continue reading it..

bringing back those memories..

water rolled down my cheeks..

hehs..

and i sort of lose myself for a moment xD

well..

seeing tt gift kind of made me understand much le

i've started to have conclusion about stuff..

but jus need answer to decide which conclusions..

after bathing i wanted to call u again.

but was on waiting..

and knew tt u were on call..

i really laughed at myself..

lucky no-one was awake to heear..

else they will think im crazy..

hahhahaha..

how foolish can i be sometimes tf..

hahahahahahahahahahah..

finally managed to call..

but nv raelly talked much

u sound so tired..

so i decided to not talk and let u go slp..

let u rest bah.. u need it after a day of party! =D

well off i m going to slp le.. tata.!

darling hope u liked the gift a lot..

i wanted to get u smth unique and special

and not so much of monetary value..

dun worry about the lost bracelet k..

im sure u will find it someday..

if not i will get u a better one next time.

though tt one really looked nice. (:

those 2 hearts dam nice. haha

well enjoy ur slp dear..

sweet dreams..

nights!

i love you.. (:

8:13 PM

Sunday, December 12, 2010

Darling!!

sorry i didnt update my blog. ):

but i got often check ur blog k..

dun worry

i read ur posts =D

so continue to blog k? (:

its nice having something to read each week

during ur exam week u nv update at all

den every week i check a bit disappointed

haha..

wanted to blog yesterday at nite

after reading ur blog in the morning

end up my sis loot my laptop out

den i no com to use when i got home ytd

haha..

friday u sms me say sat can see me i super happy sia

keep smiling and stuff

maybe absence makes love fonder bah..

haha

nearly 2 weeks nv see u le..

miss u like mad..

wonder if u did miss me the way i did.. ):

i really hope u did..

but end up u sat nv come out and meet me

to be frank actually i was super uber sad

i tot really wun see u this week again..

den must wait till my parade den can see le..

darling..

you are the best le.!! (:

thanks for coming out today to find me k

though only for lunch and a while..

but it reallly was enuf..

it really made my day.

sat nite u tell me tt u today going ps alone

i guess u going meet him le

plus he going fly on monday

cfm meet him de bah..

haha..

but u wun see him for quiet sometime le bah

guess tts why u met him lo..

i wonder if u will miss him more than me

when he is not around..

despite u meeting him..

i guess today was really a nice day bah

i really enjoyed every moment

though there were a few awakard moments..

but it was realy nice..

its been long since we went out like tt

no sorrow and sadness

no quarrals..

its really sooooo nice..

i wish we can be like tt everyday (:

hopefully our relation will get better soon

i really dun wan us to be seperate entities.

i guess im really so bonded to u le

ive fallen so madly in love with u le

though its a bit bad to say..

but maybe with him overseas..

things may get better for a while..

or maybe not lar.. it really depends.. (:

i read ur blog..

dear..

please dont leave me k.

u may think tt it would be better for me..

but i can only tell u its not..

u think that u will only hurt me one time like tt

but to tell u

i feel it will be more than wat u expect it to be..

much more.. much much more..

on thursday..

u said that..

maybe we could have been friends..

den at least things can still be the way it is

but i guess.. if we really did.

things wun be the way it was

we wun go out neither will we call each other bah

there will definately be a sense of awarkardness

and maybe i dun buy into it..

maybe cos im afraid to lose u bah..

i guess im selfish..

im afraid u fall in love with him..

im afraid that if we become just friends

u will totally forget about me..

i will cease to exsist in ur heart..

im afraid of many things..

maybe tts why bah

im selfish cos i wan u by my side..

but if one day u really feel nothing for me.

i guess i will let u go bah.

please be honest to me

thats all i ask.

if u like him..

tell me

if u dun feel for me anymore.

tell me..

life may be easier for the both of us like this..

i see u feel so terrible

my heart aches even more..

i scared that being good to u

u will feel even more guilty..

thats not wat i wan..

i jus wan u to be happy and smile..

not u to feel guilty or anything

i dun wan u to be a deliemaa everyday..

i dun wan things to be so hard for u

but the harder i try..

the worse things get..

haizz.

im really glad that in ur blog

u write that u still miss of me.

it really means a lot..

though u no longer say i love you to me.

but i stil will say to u..

i know ur confused..

so u dun wanna say also..

theres so much i wanna tell u

everytime we meet..

but seeing u happy

is more than enuf.. (:

enuf of this talk..

shall talk about happy things!!

must always smile like tt

haha..

dear dear cut short hair le

so nice..

i cross my heart

*cross cross*

u are really beautiful today..

i guess short hair looks nicer

but dun get mistaken

u still look nice in long hair

guess no one told u before bah

but u really look CHIO!

hahaha...

i cant wait till next week..

can spend some time with dear again

i really miss u lots lots..

though the time we spent isnt long today

but any amount is sufficient enuf..

i can only hope for more..

chirstmas is coming..

i haven though of wat to get for darling ):

hopefully something will pop into my mind

hope dear will be there for parade..

its so significant to me and u i guess.

without you.. i wun be at the parade..

though its a bit dumb the parade..

but i jus wan u to see my pass out

think i will cry tt day lo . haha

hope wun paiseh xD

im going to book in le.

sorry cant spend more time with u

i promise my leave week

i will spend as much time as i can with u..

hopefully u feel the same too.. (:

i love you dear

ii loooveee youuu!!

aishiteru (:

hope can call u tonite..

see ya soon dear

muacks!!

love you..