xiao tian tian =)

8:43 PM

Sunday, October 31, 2010

wo de darling!!

finally weekends le

can get to see u again!..

so nice sia..

the feeling of getting to see u so happy (:

i miss u so so so much u know??

miss u till bao..

so much has happeneed in the week

making me feeling up and down

for a moment i really though that

it was going to end

i cried many nights.

kept thinking of the worse..

kept thinking where i went wrong?

sorry that i kept pushing him to u

it really wasnt what i want.

what i really wan it for u to be with me!

friday was like the most emotional day

many things happened..

we both broke down..

though managed to spend more time with u

but it wasnt really what i expected it to be..

haha..

left u at around 1+

and meet u on sat morning at 7+..

amazing sia..

me and his timing so zhun..

i leave he come

he leave i come..

its must have been tiring on u dear

sorry i nv inform u i coming

make u have slp-less day

dui bu qi.. ):

sat morning went to meet u up

somehow after friday..

we became more open

sharing more stuff..

its good to know what u are thinking

and how u have been feeling..

at leasts now i know..

its better than being hide in the dark

keep guessing wat u thinking

den guess wrong le.

end up like tuesday again

u went missing..

please dun missing again k

at least text me say u wan some time alone..

after breakfast..

u went out for ur sport day thingy..

i went to claim my stuff and walk around

saw quiet a few things.. and had the urge to buy it..

dunno why.

i jus felt like buying it to give u..

despite the price..

on the way back.. stomach ache..

so zhun i nearby nus

so decided to hold it till i reach nus

den drop by see see

cos when i pass by in the morning saw vball also

plus can use tt excuse to see darling..

wahhaha

u are so gonna kill me when u read this

i went pass ur area a few times..

thought was seen by u.. den i faster run away

haha..

end up u nv see

i see u so happy enjoying urself..

i also happy for u..

left there at about 1.03

back to ur hostal to wait..

tried taking most of my time

walking slowwwwwwyl..

super slow..

manage to waste some time..

finally reach ur hostal.

den wait for u like 10min ++ den u reach back le..

finally get to see u again ^^

thought a lot during the bus ride to ur hostal

many of which are so zz

i really wonder

why do i bother thinking

when its like i will never do it..

i really wonder...

didnt talk to u much on sunday

had a re-test.

at least i passed..

darling wun angry with me ^^

u finally told me how u felt about hongjie

i finally know..

its good in a sense i suppose

but ur situation

to me its really a torture..

mental torture..

though u may say its nothing..

but to me

i dun wanna see u like this..

yet i dun wanna lose u.!! ):

wat a complicated, complex problem..

SOMEBODY HELP US!!

i really wish there was a solution all 3 of us will be happy

but if there isn't

jus have a solution that u will forever be happy

and never be sad

i will acccept it...

with time i suppose.

hopefully next week can meet darling more

though u meeting with zj and going airport with hj

but at least i can spend more time with u..

that more than enuf.. ^^

i going to book in le

sorry dear.. ):

have to leave u over and over again

week after week

i really hope it will end soon

at least u wun feel this way

i miss u dear..

hope thursday come fast..

muack muack

i love you darling (:

jiayou studying k

dun think so much.. ^^

MuACKS!

8:20 PM

Sunday, October 24, 2010

darling!!

im gonna book in le ):

*sobs sobs*

another 5 more days at least till i can see u again

so sad....

haiz

u gonna exam soon

jiayou k..

dun keep telling urself u cannot

tell urself u can..

like in jc..

u keep telling me u more pro than me

it really is mar..

dun stress urself out too much k..

gumpate..~

im gonna study hard inside too darling

so i can book out on friday instead of sat

den can spend more time with u

at least an xtra sat morning ^^

i must pass my test inside

i wanna pass out

so get more $$

den can get darling more stuff

so many stuff i wanna get u!!

must make u the happeist person on ur bday

and on our aniversary

haha..

dun worry about me too much k

juss concentrate on ur school

im fine inside.. or i hope so

haha.

darling hasnt been blogging as often as u used to

but nvm lar

i guess u must be busy with studies also

everyday reach home so late

still need study

by the time got free time

should allocate to slping le..

so dun blog also nvm ^^

do rest well during weekdays k

i see u everyday so chiong..

promise to take care of urself properly k

rest well and eat well.. (:

short short post..

im gonna prep for book in le

call u ltr at night k..

love ya lots..

muackss

byebye baby!!

10:19 PM

Saturday, October 23, 2010

wooo!!

im using darling the cheat method.

wahahaha

blogging for sat on sunday morning

LOL..

i never really though about it

until u told me this ''trick'' of urs... haaha

today considered quiet good bah

managed to spend most of the day with darling

despite the many zzz stuff tt came up

like your lesson and the phone thingy..

but cannot blame lar

i can see u quiet worried about ur results...

so jus go bah ^^

didnt manage to eat lunch with u though.. ):

but nvm..

dam sian sia..

yesterday i watch show till fall aslp

darling also nv call me to wake me up

wasted the one and only night

that i can talk with u long long on phone..

*sobs sobs*
but i guess u wanna let me slp bah

so nv call me..

darling so nice.. (:

u say u tired wanna slp early de.

end up u 1am ++ still haven slp

dunno wat u doing sia

ownself so tired le

still dun wanna rest early during weekend

end up weekday super tired..

haizz..

take care of urself k..

though i guess i know wat u doing yesterday till so late

but please exercise some ''control''..

dun slp so late everytime..

its really not good..

though u may think now nth happen

sooner or later something will de..

take care darling.. ):

dear..

i wonder if sometimes i really am too nice to u..

like my reaction to certain things.

its not wat normal ppl will usually do.

i wonder whether its due to my tolerence level

being higher?

or is it i jus cant bear to flare up at u?

or im jus scared u will leave??

i really dont know. ):

yesterday though u were joking..

when u say u plan to mug

den stay over at hj house again!..

my feeling totally changed sia

dunno from wat to wat..

im jus a bit pissed i suppose...

i also dunno why...

but i guess if u really did stay over again..

i also can do nothing..

but as far as i know myself..

if u really did..

i dun know how i will react anymore

i dun even know whether i can keep my temper down.

or let the matter jus rest... ):

but the choice after all its urs.. ^^

no matter wat u choose i will respect it..

dun worry darling (:

perhaps..

he and i are really similar

i can understand wat his thinking i suppose

maybe i was correct during the guesses yesterday..

haha..

hopefully i am..!!

den i can think of whats he is planning..

and be godlike fong!!

LOL

imma go eat breakfast..

blog again ltr..

10:21 PM

Friday, October 22, 2010

wo de darling!

im back from camp!!...

hahahhaa

finally book out lo.

but the feeling very sucky sia

last 2 hours+ u sms me say u not free

i feel dam zzzzzzz

zzzzzzzz till nothing to say le

i totally lost all mood to book out lo

to a point tt...

i rather not book out...

jus confine me man... it makes no diff

tts wat i tot lar.

end up. jus book out lar..

listen to my bunkmate

dun so emos..

book out tt time..

i feel super down

down down down down! :(

i decided to walk out to busstop instead of taking bus

spend some alone time walking the long dist

see how it will go

end up..

listen too much jay song..

*sobs sobs* again.

haiz..

i dam f-ing useless sia..

i think so much while walking..

i finally made up my mind

i friday cfm dun wanna meet u

ever for the next few weeks le

no point also

cos u cfm plus chop

always last min got smth up

not go out with hj

den go out with sherley or ur course

so i better die heart..

den at least wun so sad..

wun so emo on bookout day

sometimes i really wonder...

why of all days u dun wan go out with them sia

mon-thrusday dun wan

den friday den go out..

but after thinking

i suppose is u also very busy

nid study and earn money...

give tuition also

tts why no time.. friday most free

so i suppose..

i shall be a super nice bf..

dun angry and let u off bah

hahah (: good rite??

i guess sometimes i really too petty le

small small thing than angry le

i hope every normal ppl will like tt..

after reach home hor..

still got too much feeling in me

all the sadness and stuff..

end up i go run 5km +

during the run

somehow i wasnt tired at all..

all i want was to keep running and nv end..

is this call running away from the problem??..

i jus dun wan the run to stop

once it stop im scared i will think again..

sian

think think think..

later u read le worry again...

den u scared again...

dun worry k darling

everything is all right.. (:

darling.. u still out with them

i told u i wun reply u at 9

cos i plan to run

but i lied to u tt i going slp early

cos i scared i affect ur mood when u go out

if i tell u i going run to ease my feelings

i guess u wun even text me once tonite

even if u reach home

probably u would forget about me le

and u would reach home at maybe 1am bah

since hj driving bah

u sure stay out till late late de..

haizz

i guess i really have been thinking too much

really too much

many thoughts (good or bad)

have went thru my mind..

i really lost at wat to do le..

im so lost..

somebody enlighting me please..

i really wish i can tell u all my thoughts

but on the other hand..

u cfm sure flare up

or angry

or emo de..

plus i dun wan give u additional stress

i made a promise to myself not to make ur uni life worse

and not to give u more probs

and not to fan u.. or complain too much

haizz..

so much to write..

yet i dunn how to put them into words..

guess next few days i will post a lot .

haha..

*waiting for u to be home ^^*

10:00 PM

i guess u wun even text me at all bah

sure reach home super late

since u went out with ur course..

u reach home cfm forget text me de..

though i wasnt going to slp..

and was always waiting

but nvm...

bath time!

11:33 PM

Tuesday, October 19, 2010

darling!!

i nan de book out on tuesday sia

shoik. can see u today =D

but a bit zzz at first..

drag in camp for some time..

den reach home le..

go school find u.. but u ask me dun..

end up wait outside for quiet some time

den finally can see darling le!!

yay!!

had a nice nice dinner and send u back home (:

very long nv send u bak on weekday le

feel shoik mar dear? hahax

but after sending u home..

many things happen...

we argued about the matter again..

sorry if i made u cry

which i think i did..

but i really really have to say it

u really a bit too stubborn le

nth wrong with letting certain ppl know mar

esp ur parents..

u should really tell them..

u may think its not impt lar.

but to me it is....

i really dun wan anything to happen to u..

i will really cry if anything happens de

so please go cfm about it k..

i read ur blog le..

sorry darling if i created unnessecacry stress on u

i really dun wanna give u more pressure de

forgive me if i did..

anw u dun nid to try so hard with

trying to make me not see him lar

even if i did its ok le..

i expected him to fetch u over even though u nv said

i guess its built into me le.

dun worry..

i wun jealous of such thing de.

small small nia ^^

in any case

should such thingy happen again

jus tell me k.

choose hj over me..

im serious.....

u nid him more than u nid me now...

but during vacation must choose me k..

hahahahahah

i jus read ur recent post..

and i mean recent recent de..

sorry bout telling my fren dear..

i will explain to u totaly de.

call and ask me k.. ^^

cos i dun wan u to worry also..

dun worry... he wun tell anybody else de

but tt day i told him..

i really needed to.. cos i felt like i was

going to break into piece le.

sorry dear..

i next time wun le..

but please dun stop telling me all these stuff

i wanan know..

i dun wanna be the one in the dark.. ):

and if u really really dun wanna tell

if it really really does not contract

promis me to go see doc k..?

im sorrry tt all these has happen on the day we manage to meet

im truely feeling very bad..

hopefully all will turn good soon

i dun wan it to end the way my nightmare was

at least if if if if if

if if if if if

if it should..

i wan it to have a beautiful ending.. ^^

muack

love ya dear..

cya in a few more days.

11:20 PM

Sunday, October 17, 2010

darling..

today very zzz leh..

i finally understand how u felt le

or i guess what i felt was even worse

the feeling of lonely-ness is so sucky

i know i can text u and u will reply lar.

but i really dun wanna disturb u and ur enjoyment

i wanna let u enjoy so u can rest and relax

at least u next week wun so stress

so i forced myself to not text u

but i finally gave up and text once or twice

to check where were u

and i tried to gave simple reply so tt u cannot reply also

the feelin was terrible sia..

i understand how u feel le..

maybe wat u said was true

u should do this once in a blue moon

den i will not take ur presence for granted

i guess wat i felt was far worse..

cos usually is i go meet my guy frens..

den nv reply u..

but for u is go with another guy..

the feel very... i dunno how to say.. fustrated i suppose..

it feels dam cui..

but i understand lar..

u are naturally better with guys than with girls..

so i try to control my emotions lo. =)

wats worse is.. its not a group

but jus an individual...

ytd i tot u going with sherly they all so it still felt fine.

this morning u tell me only u and him ..

i....i..i.....

really lost for words and confused..

i guess i nid time to get use to it bah ^^

dun worry darling..

i will try my besst to adapt de..

wun let the same thing happen again =D

feels kind of good to still be home at this timing on sunday

booking in tml morning..

gonna change camps soon..

this time to seletar.. even far..

hopefully got some method to reach darling house

den can find her every bookout..

i gonna slp le..

its late.. blog another day (:

love ya darling..

take care of urself k..

anything happen text me.. =D

MUACKS

i shall learn to have a bigger heart and be bigger gas

TIME TO UPSIZE!!

12:03 AM

darling~

this week has been a very up and down one for me

i dunno how to explain too

i wrote sort of a ''dairy'' for most of the days

cos i was feeling too many emotions

i decided to pen it down to relieve the confusion in my mind

i still haven decided whether to let u read or not

cos the consequence very hard to predict

too many private content inside

i scared u read le not happy also

for the past few days i have been listening to An Jing

i also dunno why

the lyrics of the song suddenly hold so much meaning

that it was before

i actually cried once or twice while listening to it.

i hope our story dont end like tt song :(

dunno for what reason

random though keep coming to my mind too

whether giving each other some cool time is good

like not see each other for sometime

but i really dun really bear to either.

and that though was soon gone

on friday i also very emo

u walked home from timah market

being dragged by louis

den u walk till leg pain pain

den i see hj go save you i abit zzz

its like i felt super useless lar.

however.. for a point of time on sat

all my confusion jus went gone

all emotions tt i had went blank for some time..

due to ur lump on ur lip

i was really super concern.

u really broke down, very afraid...

my heart jus sort of ''melted''

and all the jealousy or wat shit. jus went away

i jus wan u to be safe and sound

i dun wan u to feel sad or anything

as long as u are happy.. tts all tt matters

thats wat tt went thru my mind...

but after tt.. on sat night

u told me u going out with sherley they all

with ur niece to underwater world on sunday

the feeling slightly came back

but..

im jus going to ignore it if possible

i wan u jus to be happy and enjoy all the time

for i dunno what may happen in days to come either

hopefully nothing happens..

please be safe k darling

oh ya.. if u wanna read wat i write on my book

den tell me.. i see if i decided whether to let u..

hahah

muacks.. take care dear =D

8:44 PM

Sunday, October 10, 2010

wo de darling~

i think im going to blog weekly

jus so u got smth to read every week.. =D

this week a bit emo emo sia..

we like never spend a lot a lot of time tgt

plus nv really call or text each other a lot i guess

u like super super busy with ur studies

den i also very scared disturb u

later become a nuisance.

wait.. maybe i already am.. :(

hopefully i nv disturb u much when u studying

u like recently getting more and more stress

darling i hope u are ok..

dun too stress out k.. rest more..

i see u always slp at 2+ 3 am..

den wake up at 7+8 am..

u sure super tired.. den still chiong to study

please rest more k..

dun overwork urself..

hopefully u will get over uni soon

den at least u wun so stress up..

i see le i also sad and heartbroken..

its like i can do nothing to help u out/de-stress

im so sorry darling... =(

darling u know hor.

tt friday i saw u sit ppl car leave...

i super super emoooooo

although partially is cos i jus wake up lar

but i see le.. super super sad..

now i know why u dun wan me go over tt day le

sorry tt i showed u attitude tt day

i spend the weekend and finally read finish ur bloggie le =d

zhong yu finish le.. haha

darling.. if got anything happen

please inform me k..

dun hide anything from me

i dun wanna be the last one to know anything

i already feel a bit useless cannot help u le

JIAYOU FOR STUDIES ^^

I LOVE YOU DARLING

MUACKS

PS:

oh ya darling

how u set to restrict reading ar..

i dunno ur blogger use wat email sia.

auto set it urself k.. hehs

8:43 PM

Sunday, October 03, 2010

Wonder when will darling see this

been so looong since i updated

i guess u also wun think i will update bah.. (:

Sian sia

these few weeks all friday bookout..

but cannot see darling on friday

so sad :(

whats worse is next week got duty

may not even get to see you..

2 weeks no see darling

so emo....

i miss you so mucch darling

somemore these 2 days u a bit cold to me

im worried about many things sia

hopefully wat i've imagine wun come true

maybe its jus the high lvl of female hormones in my body

LOL

i sure hope so..

darling darling

im gonna book in le..

dun even know will see u next week mar

hopefully can bah

JIAYOU IN SCHOOL~!!

muacks muacks

love ya. (:

dun leave me k..
i really dun bear to see u go :(